Writer or reader, friend or family: we want connection, not perfection.
A very lovely public speaking coaching client of mine stopped in the middle of their speech this week. They’d made a small error with the words they’d prepared. When I encouraged them to continue, they did. But the enthusiasm, the involvement in the subject they loved, had gone.
After we’d rehearsed the rest, I mentioned I’d noticed a drop in involvement. I asked them to share what had gone through their head at the time.
They said that although they understood what I mean when I say the words aren’t as important as the meaning – so, if a sentence goes off track, we think about what we mean and find a way through to the next – they didn’t believe they could be happy with the speech if the words were ‘wrong’.
‘So,’ I asked, ‘unless every word you say is exactly the one you prepared, you stop connecting with the audience?’
They thought about this, and I saw them seeing the irony. After all, our words are there because of the audience. If us falling short of a standard only we can see is more real to us than our audience relationship – we’re not really there for the audience at all.
‘Perfect’ was Never on the Menu
When we rehearsed the speech again, and when my client inevitably (because humans aren’t answerphones and authentic speeches are always slightly different each time) said words in a different order to what they’d prepared, each wobble became an opportunity to tighten their focus on the audience and strengthen their connection as a result. They looked deeper into their mental image of who the audience were and why this mattered for them. Their facial expression and body language were lighter. They were remembering what they loved and why they believed their words belonged in the world. Instead of mentally and emotionally looking back over their shoulder at what was ‘wrong’, they gave a unique and authentic delivery, especially for who it was meant for.
Writer or reader, friend or family, audience member or fellow performer, we’ll take connection over perfection any day. Trying to show up for us as perfect is no good to us at all. Choose vulnerability over perfection, and we’ll know we can too.
Join me at Olympic Studios, southwest London, to develop your writing and creative confidence Saturdays 21 June, 28 June, 5 July and 12 July:
This Week…
The Writing Room | 11am-1pm Monday 19 May
No expectations, no readings, just an open chat box and ten minutes’ (totally optional) chat together at the end. Click here.
Fiction and Memoir Writing | Riverside Studios 7-8.30pm Monday 19 May
All the inspiration, support and techniques you need to weave initial ideas into fully realised stories. Click here.
Writing Magic Realism: Visualising Magic Realism | 1pm-2.30pm Tuesday 20 May
Tour through magic realist texts, and enjoy creative confidence building exercises to master these techniques and concepts, and make them your own. Click here.
Coffee & Creativity | 1-2.30pm Wednesday 21 May
Grab a coffee and have a mid-week chat, a write and then another chat with your fellow creatives. Free for members: type your discount code where indicated. Click here.
Writing Room EXTRA | 6-7pm Thursday 22 May
Members only: please check Voxer messages.
Coming soon…
Coffee & Creativity at Olympic Studios, Barnes | 10-11.30am, Friday 6 June
Grow your connections, build motivation and unlock inspiration in this creative networking event with a difference. Dr Rachel’s gently powerful facilitation provides a space to turn curiosity into creativity, wherever you are in your writing journey. Click here.
Writing Workout and Feedback | 6-7.30pm, Tuesday 17 June
Adding to our programme of regular workouts at the Writers’ Gym, this friendly group workshop is the perfect place to hone your writing – and how to get the best out of feedback. Click here.
Powerful Fiction and Memoir (4-week course) | 2-3.30pm, Saturday 21 June
Truthful, powerful writing goes so much deeper than whether or not a story ‘really happened’. Join me at the legendary Olympic Studios to explore the tools and techniques of powerful prose. Writers of all levels of experience will build creative confidence, explore and express their unique memory and imagination and create truthful, compelling memoir and fiction. Click here.
The Writers’ Gym is part of Rachel Knightley Coaching: creative confidence for life, work and art: www.rachelknightley.com
You don’t have to be a member to join a Writers’ Gym session: visit here. But if you’d like to access our weekly programme for free, and receive 30% off all our other events, ask about membership: thewritersgym@rachelknightley.com